On the Physics or Pokeballs
by Anya Krikkit
Summary: An obscure look at pokeballs, and, contrary to the title, completely disregards physics entirely. Warning, Team Rocket stars!


### On the Physics of Pokeballs

Why did I write this? I have no idea... It makes very little sense, but is hopefully at least slightly humourous to someone out there. 

*** 

On the Physics of Pokemon: 

Once upon a time, Hsa (ancestor of Ash) was walking around. He was arguing with Ytsim, since they were, as always, lost. 

"Well, I'm not carrying it! It's your pikachu!" 

"But I'm already carrying Bulbasaur and Charmander! And Squirtle can't walk very fast, so slow down, would ya?" 

"Don't look at me!" said Kcorb. "I've got Onix!" 

It is know that most pokemon have very short legs, and, while they can act with great speeds during battles, they so quickly lose energy that most tame pokemon are incapeable of walking for any kind of distance. While there are, of course, exceptions to this rule, as there are with any rule, in general a walking pokemon is a slow pokemon. 

"Gee," said Hsa. "I wish we had some way to move pokemon around that was better than this." 

Hsa might never have known how fateful those very words were. 

Far away, perhaps a hill or two behind the (slow) trio, two people watched, binoculars in hand. A meowth lay sprawled in the grass near-by, along with an ekans and a koffing, too tired to move. 

It is also known that, due to the immense quanities of energy consumed merely in moving from place to place, pokemon are incapable of reaching high or even medium levels without specialized care most trainers can not afford. (Thus, evolution, as it is now known, did not exist.) 

"Semaj, the fignaldjf (which is the old term for twerp) has given me an idea." 

"Yes, Eissej? What?" 

"What if we made it convienent to cart pokemon around? We'd be famous, and Madam Boss might even give us a raise!" 

"But how would we accomplish it? Everyone knows that it's been tried before. It's not exactly a new problem." 

"Well... We could dig a hole?" 

The meowth spoke. "You idiots! Holes aren't the solution to everything! You just fall into them anyways!" Fortuneatly for Eissej and Semaj, Meowth had not even the energy to use fury swipes. 

"Well," said Semaj, usong that voice he uses whenever he has come up with particularly good idea that would work unquestionably when not confronted with the main character status of a particular fignaldjf. "What if we use a special type of hole? One you could put the pokemon into, and take out later?" 

Eissej whacked Semaj with her mallet. "You idiot! Then you'd have to carry around the pokemon and the hole!" 

"Ow!" Semaj cringed. 

"Wait!" cried the meowth. "What if, once ya put the stuff in da hole, it would go somewhere else?" 

Eissej still did not like the idea. Unfortunaetly, her good nature (no smirking out there!) would not allow her to whack Meowth while he was down. She would have to wait until he got up. Which might be a while. Eissej didn't like waiting. 

"What if we used a black hole?" Eissej suggested. 

Black holes, were, at that time, quite easy to come across. They were so common that frequently they would suck up entire forests, causing many deforestation problems. 

"But how would we put the pokemon into it?" 

"Well, um," Eissej looked around frantically for an idea. She saw Meowth playing with one of those balls he always seemed to carry around. She grabbed it. "We'll just hollow this thing out and put the black hole into it! I'm glad I thought of this idea!" 

Semaj and Meowth both froze, and fell twitching to the ground. 

They turned the idea over to Madam Boss, who soon marketed it across the world. Black holes soon were all safely captured, allowing the forests to become so big that Hsa and his decendents had an even easier time getting lost. 

While all black holes were now captured, ome were able to gain control of their prisons, and became known as Voltorbs, able to 'explode' by pulling themselves entirley inward, leaving desturction behind. 

The black holes also had a curious effect upon the pokemon. Once a pokemon has been inside one, they seemed generally not to need to go in again for long periods of time while still retaining their energy, as were their decendents, even if those decendent were never to see the inside of one of these newly christained 'pokeballs.' Evolutions of pokemon were discovered, as were new attacks. 

The name of Maet Tekcor, the organization for which Semaj and Eissej worked, was highly revered, and Semaj and Eissej were presented with medals for their brilliance. Thus, the world as it is now known came to be. 

***   
  
  
AN: It has since been pointed out to me that zero-space (a la animorphs) would account for my black-hole theory much nicer than this. Ah, well. It is just a fic... 


End file.
